So the ornery in-laws I’ve blogged about before are on Facebook. These ornery in-laws live within 4 hours of this whole side of their family, but we see them once a year or sometimes less. The only time anyone hears from them is when they’re desperate for a babysitter, at which point we get dropped like hot potatoes so that my mother-in-law can get on a plane and go babysit for them. Because it’s almost her only chance to see those grandkids. She even missed getting to see Dancing with the Stars (her favorite show ever) live after we got her tickets because she was asked last minute to babysit for them and she couldn’t bear to turn down a chance to see those kids. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Right now we still haven’t celebrated Christmas with them because they keep saying they’re too sick.
But then I checked in with Facebook and I see where they’re jetting off this weekend to see other family this weekend (the other married-in’s family, not related to us), and have plans lined up for all kinds of other things. No plan to reschedule with us.
It would be one thing if they had a crap family. I know what a crap family is; I’ve got one. Crap is family members in prison for armed robbery. Crap is a parent who tells you you’re stupid when you try to help. Crap is having to parent your own parent. Crap is having to be on guard in every conversation against being manipulated by your own siblings into giving them money.
I know what crap is. These ornery in-laws have a really nice family. A nice family who loves their kids and is always glad to see them and treats them well.
No one will say anything and these ornery in-laws continue to treat us all like total crap. I can count on my hands how many times I’ve ever seen my 5-year-old niece. That is CRAP.
Today I said something. I’m really nervous. They’re probably going to be mad. I emailed:
I know it isn’t your fault, but you might talk to your hubby about being a bit more discreet. It’s pretty hurtful to be told in nearly February that you guys are still all too sick to come celebrate Christmas with us, then see in his facebook that you’re off to (city where your family lives) this weekend. His family can see that. I know he doesn’t care, but his family really cares & we all care about your girls and we miss them. It’s really hard to feel like they’re being kept away on purpose.
I take total responsibility for it. I hope they will see how it looks to us. I doubt it, though. Probably all it will get me is unfriended on Facebook. Maybe the wrath of my mother-in-law. That’s fine. Not being able to stay quiet on her behalf anymore is part of the new ‘tude, you know.
Here’s the thing. If you’re going to be a big fat liar and treat your family like total crap, you should try to have the respect to not go posting it obviously on Facebook. That’s just adding insult to injury.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree with what you did 100%. I think people need to be called on their assholeishness. And they need to know that their actions are hurtful and that y’all really do care. This whole time they may have been thinking that you didn’t, and now they can’t say that anymore.
Jennifer´s last blog …We love our vitamins, Friday Funny
If your MIL is a jerk about coming to see you, then she needs to accept that people are going to treat her accordingly. She reaps what she sows.
But MY question is: how did your hubby feel about you posting that on Facebook? I’m all about calling out the assholes, but I wouldn’t want my husband to get caught up in the pot I was stirring up. I hope he was behind you 100%.
Usually in situations like that, I tell the husband my beef and let him handle it. And, he knows he’d better get on it because if he doesn’t, I will. And then he’s gotta get in that pot-stirring-business. Also known as hot water. ha ha
Texan Mama´s last blog …Breakfast
I didn’t post it on Facebook. I emailed her privately – and it didn’t go to my MIL. My MIL is one of the ones getting treated like crap. I’m not being specific on purpose, sorry about that.
Wendy´s last blog …Facebook Will Getcha
I hate to say it, but I don’t think it’s going to help, and will likely just polarize stuff even more.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, as they say. Except, apparently, how to use Facebook.
The Mother´s last blog …Dawn
No one ever calls them out, not even when they’re cruel. It may not help, but being nice and overlooking it for a decade hasn’t helped, either. I figured it was worth a shot & at least I would know I didn’t let it go by just one little tiny time.
I’m really tired of everyone walking on eggshells around this ONE person and him always getting his way just because he’s a butthead. Some of us are left having to do the right thing & take up the slack every single time.
But you’re prolly right.
Wendy´s last blog …Facebook Will Getcha