I’m a P-P-P

That’s Pathological People Pleaser, for the uninitiated.

There really isn’t a problem with this, because other people will really like you for it.  Who doesn’t like a total pushover who will make herself miserable because a near-stranger wants something from her?  Much less a friend or family member.

The real problem is when you change the rules.  NO ONE likes this, not one bit.  People get angry when you suddenly stand up for yourself or have an actual OPINION.

So right now everyone I know is completely pissed at me.  Well, to be honest it’s mostly the women in my life.  My mother, stepmother, and mother-in-law.  They are all completely annoyed with me.  I earned it, too.  I’m sure I could have dealt with all of them in a more gentle way, but sometimes you can just only take SO much before you pop.

In a way it’s a bit of a relief.  After three months of living within three miles of my mother-in-law, something had to give.  If I’m going to have any semblance of sanity, she’s either going to have to back off a bit or else spend a lot of time seriously annoyed with me when I make her back up.  It’s unfortunate, but there it is.

As for my mother and step-mother, the fact that you call me up to complain endlessly about other people I love, and I listen politely, does not make us “close”.  It makes me think you actually have no respect for me at all, or else no self control.  I’m sorry I waited so long to establish a proper boundary, and sorry that you made me do so, but there it is.  I hope you get over it soon.  If not, at least I don’t have to listen to you tell me what a b@st@rd my dad is because he tracked mud in your kitchen again, or because he divorced you twenty freaking years ago.

The interesting part of this is that the men I know aren’t mad at me.  Mostly because, for some reason, the men in my family & little circle actually have a sense of propriety and boundaries.  Which is maybe why I’ve always preferred the company of men and found that women make me really nervous.

Regardless, I’m practicing at not being a nervous wreck because someone is mad at me.  It’s easier because nearly everyone is, so I’m taking a short course in it.  Just yesterday I did something maybe a little turd-headed in traffic and one of my neighbors (I know where you live, lady!) refused to just GO AROUND ME.  She rolled down her window and started YELLING at me.  I just smiled and waved, and went on my way.